


For Our Demons

by AngryApple



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Gen, Horror, Insanity, Non gender, Other, Papyrus and Spaghetti, Psychological Horror, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Relationships, messed up characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-07-14 01:06:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7145822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngryApple/pseuds/AngryApple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living had become redundant, everything... just another iteration.  It's all Sans can do not to fall into madness.  Still, he remembers the genocide, and can't bring himself to wish for things to change.  It's all a joke and the punchline is a horror show.  He's much happier reliving the set up... over... and over... and over.<br/>Except he isn't.</p><p>"Sweetheart, I'd love to trust ya, but I think the devil is hiding behind that smile."</p><p>(This story focuses mainly on Frisk and Sans, and how being trapped in a repeating world affects and disturbs them both, some dark themes may be played with.  Story is still unfolding, but the idea is that Frisk is returning to the Underworld one final time, to end it all and free themselves from the curse of the reset, and calls on Sans to aid them in uncovering the secrets that hold them both prisoner, the story will jump frequintly from that present to past experiences within the timelines.)</p><p>Undertale and its characters belong to Toby Fox.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Fanfiction, critiques are most welcome. Suggestions for the story as well, I have the base of it worked out in my head but most of it is still manifesting itself. Hope you enjoy ~

Sans had come to resent them.

It had been so long since they had come to the underground. There were still resets. Maybe the kid wasn't doing too well up on the surface, but hey... At least they weren't falling down anymore. They were staying away.

He hadn't expected them to, but he had asked anyway, when they finally spared him. "If you're really my friend... you won't come back." So they hadn't.

It had been so relieving.

It had been the only mercy, the only grace he would have accepted from the kid. And he had been grateful. Glad not to see them anymore. Glad they stayed away.  
And yet he resented them for the... (repetition). Resented the kid for not trying to save them as they once had, over and over, no matter how many times they had to come back.  
He remembered what it had been like to get out, to return to the surface. To be free, to see everyone's joy, their hopes and dreams finally realized. Then it had all been taken away, and only he was left to remember.

He remembered each reset, he remembered what everyone did, what they said when they forgot. It was always the same. Sans always remembered. And now he was trapped in this awful feeling. The kid had been the only thing that broke the dull repetition of his everydays.

  
He wasn't sure who to blame for the resets, though the kid had exersized clear control over them in the hall of judgment. But they had been happening before they had fallen into the underworld (heh). Maybe the kid had been responsible for them even then, but he remembered that little golden flower. He remembered watching it with papyrus, watching it play with everyone. He remembered killing it so many times.

Then it had stopped and there had been quiet. Things were... normal. Then the kid came.  
Then the kid came... and his boredom ended. Things had been different, new, and for a time, hopeful. He watched them learning, he watched them sparing, kindness and determination growing with each death, so set on finding a way over each obstacle without resorting to violence. Such a strange kid, he had thought at the time. But harmless enough... For now.  
He knew they remembered, and after a while he could tell they knew what they were doing.  
Some monsters were sensitive to it, though only a few. Like déjà vu, they wouldn't take that turn around the corner because it felt like a bad idea for some reason, maybe they would watch where they walked more closely so as to not trip of that root there not sure how they knew about. That's how it had started for Sans, and why he had set about with the... Research. It made sense, that a Monster such as himself, which had been previously exposed to similar... anomalies would be sensitive to the subtle shifts in the timelines.

The theory that was in the works was one that simply expanded on another. Each time anyone makes a decision, there are alternate versions of a similar universe in which they themselves make a different choice, changing the course of time, the course of everything. Endlessly branching paths, an ever expanding, ever weaving web of universes. Dimensions upon dimensions. And for what ever reason, the kid had control over their "decisions", and when something went wrong, or they died, or weren't met with the most favourable of outcomes, they could "go back". They could enter... or create... another timeline where it hadn't happened yet. It was amazing, it was miraculous. It was enviable.

It was terrifying. For all the knowledge Sans possessed, he couldn't be sure why he of all monsters, remembered. It didn't make sense, he was a different him really. Another Sans, another timeline, another universe in a pocket of a thousand universes, a thousand hims. Yet, he remembered himself and what had happened, or hadn't happened, or what wouldn't happen anymore. It was madness.

And it meant that each time the kid reset, he left himself behind, and woke up again as another Sans.

That meant in another universe the kid had kept fighting him, had kept falling. He had been so frustrated for so long, why he kept having to be the Sans That remembered everything. But somewhere a Sans remembers more. He was on a different path. Whether she killed him later, it didn't matter, because now it was different. Different resets, different Frisks... Different things to remember.

Like there were other Sans's that got left in "their" timelines, so did Frisk. Most everyone in the world has no awareness of the timelines, and they all just go on existing in their singular lines of consciousness, living with only the smallest awareness of a single layer to reality. Frisk was not so ordinary, not so intentional. Frisk could will their mind, their being, into alternative timelines as it suited their purpose. Will themselves, their "awareness" into the other universes, the other "them". It seemed to Sans though that the kid had very little knowledge of all of this, he doubted they knew that with each reload, each reset, they left a Frisk, they left "themselves" behind. Or didn't, in the instances where they would have been killed.

It was madness. This gift of knowledge was torture on his mind. Small things kept him tethered to his fragile "reality". Grillbyz... Knocking out bad jokes on a door with a kind stranger... his brother. Papyrus was his constant, his reason for resisting the alluring call of insanity.

He had to be thankful every morning that he had been lucky enough to wake up as the "right" Sans. A Sans with a Papyrus.

Sans could remember so clearly, so vividly, the agony of existence without his brother. They only thing that had kept him from finding release was his rage. His unholy need for revenge, and his righteous desire to put an end to the violent rampage. Any creature, no matter how kindhearted, can be corrupted by power. And Frisk had such power, the kind that all mortal beings lust after foolishly. Like a child does, they got bored. As far as he could tell anyway.  
Sans remembered.

"BROTHER!" Sans dragged his tired, shambling self off of his disheveled bed and poked his head out into the hallway. "ya papyrus?" But he knew the answer already.  
"IM HEADING OUT TO BEGIN MY DAY BROTHER, AND RECOLOBRATE MY PUZZLES! WE NEVER KNOW WHEN A HUMAN MAY PASS THROUGH AND WE NEED TO BE READY! I STRONGLY SUGGEST YOU FOLLOW SUIT!"

In this reset, It was the day he would meet the human in the forest, if they fell. They hadn't for any of the resets in a long time. He almost considered going back to bed.  
But he couldn't. Not if this was the day they chose to fall again. And looking at Papyrus, he always knew now. He couldn't afford not to care.

"i dunno papyrus," he flashed his brother a grin. "kinda hoping to catch a few zzzz's before work, ya know?"

"LAZYBONES! YOU JUST GOT OUT OF BED!" his brother huffed.

"I know, all that sleeping really wore me out." Watching Papyrus get flustered was one of his favourite pastimes. It rarely got old.

"REALLY SANS!" Papyrus threw his arms into the air, exasperated. Sans chuckled to himself, but went to make a show of actually preparing himself to go out. When Papyrus was satisfied he wasn't going to just go back to sleep he left to tend to his eagerly awaited puzzles. Sans let his face fall. It wasn't quite time yet, but what would it hurt to be early? For once in a million universes, it wouldn't kill him... He hoped.

He took a shortcut.

Arriving at the door to the ruins, he made note of how... Normal it seemed. Nothing felt different, there was no reason this reset wouldn't be like all those proceeding it. So he sat and waited, out of sight of the door. They would be there soon, if they came this time. Or would they? He had left early this time.

Too early. He felt himself nodding off, when he heard the door creaking loudly. He sat up, stunned. Pushing against the door with all the might their tiny body could muster, was Frisk. Just as they had been so many resets ago, before the attempted genocide.

His mind was blank. Sans could hear the sound of the snow crunch under their feet as they stumbled forth, shaken, but determined. As if in a daze, Sans followed behind them as he had the very first time they had come to the underground, snapping the branch underfoot.  
The kid stopped dead at the gate, too early. They waited. Sans went to speak but found that his voice had left him. Slowly, they turned to face him, and Sans looked Frisk in the face for the first time since he had drove his bones through the their tiny body.

Frisk didn't have the eyes of a child anymore. The blissful ignorance, the innocent wonder, the youthful light, it was all drained away. The eyes that met him were the eyes of an old, tired soul. One that had lived as thousand lifetimes and suffered a great deal for it. They were learned eyes, they were wise, and sad. For some reason it was pissing him off.

Papyrus's head laying in the snow, muttering out his final words of encouragement flashed brilliantly in his minds eye and all the hatred and rage Sans held locked inside himself outran its prison and filled him with power. Frisk had made those decisions, Frisk had carried out those acts of needless violence. Frisk had taken everyone from him in another lifetime. His eye flashed and his blue magic took hold of Frisks soul. All his anger, all his uncertainty and fear, all his frustration was Frisks fault, and he let it crash over him and he used it to rip Frisk into bloody chunks.

Then again... At least today had been different.

"long time no see... buddy."


	2. Need Some Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It seems we've reached an accord.

"Looks like Alice fell down the Rabbit hole." 

This time the kid hadn't turned to face him, hadn't stopped walking until he said something. No waiting this time. When they didn't speak he became irritated.   
"look kid, we both know you had that coming to ya." Still nothing.  
"don't really see how you'd come to expect anything else." He shuffled his slippered feet and spoke into his shirt. "after last time."  
"Not last time."   
Sans stared at the back of kids head. They still didn't turn. "you know what I mean buddy." He growled.   
"I stayed away Sans." Their voice was soft and tired, with just the faintest hint of desperation. "I stayed away so many times. So many resets."   
"not this one though."   
"Well..."  
Silence stretched on between them. Sans wasn't sure what to think. Part of him was screaming for the kids murder, but most of him felt so tired, tired of the hatred and the fear, and tired of the same life, the same days over and over again. If he had felt the strength in him he would have gotten angry with the kid about that, but his actions from the previous timeline had left his energy levels vastly depleted. All he could manage was grumpiness. "what happened out there anyway?" He grunted. "i still felt your reloads." His voice felt raspy, like it wasn't used to being used for sentences he hadn't spoken hundreds of times before. The kid sighed and seemed to relax a little, and turned finally to face him. There they were again, those tired eyes. Tired but determined.   
"geez kid." He huffed, giving them a long sideways stare. Nah, he wouldn't kill them this time. Not yet anyway.   
"We could talk about it over Grillbyz?" The human suggested with a weak smile. There wasn't any real hope in their face.   
"nah," he shook his head in disbelief and felt himself getting more frustrated. "nah sorry. It's going to take a bit more then not killing me."   
Frisk sighed, unsurprised. "I understand."  
Sans shot a glare at the human. Every bit the diplomat eh? "oh you do huh? You understand what it's like to watch your friends and family, and every fucking living thing put in the path of a genocidal fuck get turned to ash? Wow you should have told me kid."   
For whatever reason, his words were stinging them, and he could see it, but he didn't care. Nor did he feel much of anything. It would have been more satisfying a few resets ago, but he had gotten all his anger out the last time and now all he felt was a tired old bitterness that clung to his soul like a leech. "you don't understand shit." His voice came out as a hiss, but he was speaking to his shoes this time. 

Something about the kids eyes made him feel some kind of bad. Someone was doing something, or had done something, or maybe it was the weight of their sins pushing down in them, but the kid had such tired, doleful eyes. The eyes of someone who had learned a great deal in a seemingly short period of time. Despite that, he kept on biting at them with his words. "you understand what it's like to know that it doesn't matter what you do, someday, somehow it will all be reset!" He frowned at the familiar phrase, but kept on. "you have control. you have no idea what it feels like."  
"Sans." The kid said his name with such gentleness, eyes soft.  
He felt it again, the anger, the rage and hate rising up inside him and spilling forth in a vicious wave of white hot magic. There was a flash and the kid was nothing but burnt bones and small chunks of charred meat.

Sans was outside the door again, and saw it slowly creak open. He didn't go to hide, he just hung back a ways and waited. Frisk emerged once more, wincing. He wondered if the pain of their last death was still lingering with them, or if the door really was that heavy. They walked a few feet and the door swung shut behind them. Frisk looked around.   
"Sans," they said again. "Aren't you tired?"   
After a long pause as the very forest seemed to be holding its breath, Sans walked forward, eyes dark and empty.   
"Aren't you tired?" Frisk asks again. There was no anger or resentment, no fear or loathing of any kind in their voice. Just an honest, pleading question that was left hanging in the air.   
"Look at my face Sans, look at my eyes... I'm not the same child I was that day. Those are not the eyes you see now, are they?" Sans said nothing.  
Frisk waited before continuing. "It's been a long time since that day... "   
"kid, that was still your handing swinging the knife."   
"I don't deny it." Their tone became sure. "Those are my sins to bare." Frisk shivered. "But there is more to everything, you know there has to be."   
Sans snorted. "All I know is that you're a spoiled brat with too much power."   
"I know you're smarter then that Sans." His eyes came back to glare at them again.   
"Please..." The kid pleaded, "I'm so tired Sans. I know you are too, you must be. I don't want the reloads anymore, I don't want the resets. It's my determination."

"Then be less determined." 

"My determination is a part of me. Flowey has it too, he used to have control over the saves. You remember?"

He did. It had been so long ago that it felt more like a dream, but he remembered.   
"When I fell, I took that power from him somehow. My determination is... Greater."  
Sans was getting sick of listening. "get to the point kid."  
Frisk sighed deeply and put their hands over their eyes before continuing. "I don't want it Sans. I don't want this control, this power. I want to live and I want to die."  
They looked up, but not at him. Through him, past him to something distant. "I want to pass through existence like every living thing must, and return to what came before... Existing..." ... "This isn't natural, this state of being. I'm supposed to end somewhere." 

"then why not just stay dead." Sans growled. 

"It's not that easy. When I die, it's like... It's like limbo. All I can do is go back. I can just float there for a while, and I have but... There are worse things Sans," Frisk shuttered and a shadow passed over their face. "Worse things trapped in that place then a spoiled brat."   
Sans manages to contain a shudder of his own. There's a creeping darkness in the back of his mind, and seeing the look on the kids face he wonders if they would recognize. It hadn't occurred to him that the kid came back to perhaps spare them from something worse. He tried to push the thought back, out of sight to his minds eye.   
He lets out a shaky sigh. "what do you want from me kid..."   
Another long silence. Frisk clearly knows what they want to say, but there is a clear hesitation, and a clear reason for it. Knowing how Sans is likely to react again, should they say the wrong thing, push the wrong button.  
"... I want it to end Sans. I want to find the end to all of this for me. It's not up there," they make an upwards gesture. "And death is never my end. There are things I need to finish... questions that need answers, and secrets that need uncovering. There is something!" Their voice filled with frustration and face hardening. "Something that has to be done to free me from this... To free you." They give Sans a pleading look. His eyes are still black and empty. Frisk pushes it, "I need to free everyone."

"kid you already did that." 

"Not everyone." Sans stares at them, unsure as to why he found what the kid had just said unnerving. "I'm tired of everything Sans. You're tired too, I just... I just want it to end. I can't go on like this." Frisk steps closer to Sans as if to take hold of his jacket and shake it. He looks down on their face, a child's face, sweet and sad. Sans lets on a weary chuckle.

"I guess we both could use some sleep huh?"

He's not sure why he hasn't killed them yet, but he can't deny that the kid had some interesting things to say. He would see how things went for now. After all... at least today had been different.


	3. Dungeon Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick flashback to Sans and Frisk loosing it a little. Just a tad.

"heeeeey bucko..."

A low voice purred from somewhere in the dark room. Frisks thoughts were frantic. This wasn't right.  
"do you think... anyone can be a good person..." Today, this voice didn't belong to a friend. Dread and fear poured over them like a bucket of ice water, Frisks feet were rooted to the floor as they strained desperately to make out anything in the darkness. A door, a way out.

 _Mercy_.

"...if they just try?" Laughter. A manic giggle (if you could call it that) filled the room. It brought Flowey and his horribly distorted face to mind, but who the voice belonged to was unquestionable.  
"nah..." Came another dark chuckle. A single light flashed overhead, illuminating the short skeleton who, in all his fury and dark delight, seemed colossal. His eye blazed and his grin had never been wider. Frisk shuddered and shivered and found that they could move again.

 _Run_.

They backed against the wall and cast their gaze around the now dimly lit room, hoping, praying to find their escape. There seemed to be no door, it even if there had been Frisk no longer had it in their mind to find it, so great became their terror. The room was no where near as large as the Judgment Hall had been, but they still couldn't see back into all its four corners. Obscuring their vision were horrible devices, cages with spikes jetting inward, beams hung with shackle and chain, large saw blades hung neatly on the wall, wheels and hammers, whips, floggers, flayers, all manner of horrible twisted implements. Where Sans stood and the light was brightest looked to be the clearest part of the room, and behind him a series of empty cages.

His grin widens. "like it?" Frisks mouth opens in a silent scream.  
"welcome to the Kings dungeon kiddo." Sans speaks as a performer might address his audience, arms spread wide. "The king had one similar to this build during the war. Packed it full of this stuff, to scare any human prisoners. Was never too keen on using it though. Mostly just decorations of a sort." He returns his hands to his pockets and continues to smile.  
"all of it ended up down here, once the king decided that we would take the surface again. Humans sure are creative. They built all of this stuff." He gazed fondly around the room. "don't think the queen liked it much." Frisk starts a little at the mention of Toriel, odd to have thoughts of her in a place such a this.  
"but you never did answer my question," he shakes his head and takes a few steps towards Frisk. "and you know what I think?" He's close now, standing just a couple of feet from them. Frisk looses feeling in their legs and falls to the floor, cowering beneath his glare.

**"I think you've always been a huge piece of shit."**

With that he turns his back on them and begins to walk away. They follow, floating behind him like a lifeless doll, their soul caught in his blue magic.

"what do you say we break in a few of these shiny toys buddy?"

Frisk opens their mouth again, and this time the scream that escapes pierces the din and rattles the chains hanging down from the roof.  
.........................................................................................................................

Blood dripped down from the ceiling, splating atop his skull. All the while the grin never left his face. Not that it could in the first place... but never once had he felt the smile in his soul fade.

The kid was spread around like modern art... a masterpiece of his violence. He took in the delicious spectacle, satisfied, but suddenly so damn empty again. Now that they were gone... everyone else was still dead. Or were they? Which time line was it again? He wasn't even sure. He started to laugh. He laughed, and laughed and laughed at the nothing. He went to turn when he heard the sound of something falling onto the floor. Behind him was Frisk, again, alive, shivering in fear. He looked back at his work, to find it had vanished. All his hard work, undone as though it had... never ... even... happened. He spun around to face the kid. It was their fault, it had to be. He couldn't think of any other explanation, and he didn't want one. It wasn't just in his head, it was something! Something to do with the damn kid! He fell on them like a dark shadow and took their soul in his magic once again. Or was it again? Was this the first time...? Or the third? Or sixth? He didn't know. He laughed. And laughed. He laughed until he couldn't breathe and stared at the child laying on the floor, shuttering, shivering, weeping.

"buddy, let's have some **fun**."

.........................................................................................................................

Laughing. Gleefully. The kid was laughing, staring down at the bone that pierced them through the gut. Coughing, sputtering, but laughing. They looked up at Sans and their face was filled with delight, the way kids should look when you tell them Santa Is on the way. Excitement, anticipation. It was unnerving. It was hilarious. They looked so sweet, like darkness disguised as morning light. And that look... he knew they were hiding something awful.

"i'll have to skin you before morning to find out what's behind that smile."

...........................................................................................................................

Sans flicked the light switch. "doctor's in kiddo." Smile on his face all ablaze.

  
There you were again, strapped down to the table, stains high on the wall above you formed the pattern of snakes. How many times had you ended up here, with Sans, under his knife again. His knife, because he knew what you were, what you had done, what you could do. His instruments began to hiss to life. The fear the first dozen times had been paralyzing. But now, now you knew.

The heart was contaminated, rotten to the core. Your foul brain was tainted by evil thoughts. Your eyes were filthy from the sins you shouldn't have seen. He would cut out the cancers corrupting your soul. You were sick, and here in this room, the cure was screaming.

When had this become who you were, when had you began to feel the real joy in this punishment. Though really, what choice did you have. Your body and mind were protecting you by breaking, even now. When living means agony, when living becomes nothing but pain with no foreseeable end and no hope of escape, what can you do but begin to enjoy it?

When you screamed at the new pain he brought you, his smile was brilliant.

.........................................................................................................................

"Sweetheart, you're giving me a real **deadache**." Sans sighed.

Here they were again in his chamber. It felt like so long ago that it had begun. He had been so desperate and so certain that he could find a way to end them that would keep them away, that would be so terrible and absolute that they would have to stay dead. He had so much hope when they started. Now it had become some kind of twisted game between them. He kept trying new ways to kill them, to make them suffer so much they wouldn't never want to come back.

"why don't you just reset again." Because they had. Hundreds of resets. That was why he kept bringing them there, hoping to keep them away this time, hoping to kill them or scare them enough to end it all. This was the most times they had just reloaded without resetting. "you having too much fun buddy?"

"Nothing changes. Every Time I go back it's all the same, nothing I do changes what happens here, and everything is always the same. Here, things change. Here things are different. **Here with you Sans**." The kid laughs. "It's different! It makes me feel alive! Don't you feel so alive Sansy?!" Red flashing eyes.

If Sans had a stomach he would have felt it drop, because he couldn't deny that they were right. He felt real in this place, while he worked on them. It had become such an involving process it was hard not to feel... invested... in his work. So much of himself was gone, and here he knew he was loosing more but at least he had a purpose. It had been his rage and thirst for vengeance that had allowed him to stomach it all at first, but now he hardly batted an eye. Somewhere deep in his skull he thought of all the hundreds of Sans's that didn't have to deal with a returning Frisk, and had to live with what they had done. Not that he didn't have dirt on his hands already. These were the things that made his skull ache, it was too much, the torment of such knowledge was crushing him, and he needed it all to end. It had to. Somewhere, someday, right??

It would. It had to. He would make it, he would make them end it. He would end them, in every single way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more I think about it the less inclined I am to believe that it's canon that Sans remembers all the resets and reloads, I think it's more likely that he just aware of them. But for this story, we're imagining that he remembers... At least this version of himself. That idea is very interesting to me, trying to comprehend what kind of mentel state you'd fall into.
> 
> Also, all this is being typed out on an iPad, so if any weird word things happen let me know someone so I can edit it out. Thank you!


	4. Wrong First Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans is an ass. Good for him
> 
> Added more to this chapter, felt like it needed to be longer, instead of splitting into two tiny chapters.

What was to be done? "hey kid." Sans reaches out to put a hand on their shoulder, to shake them out of their daze, but the movement is enough. Frisk immediately reacts, flinching away and raising their arms I defence.  
"buddy chill. I just want to know what the hell we're supposed to do." Frisk relaxes their posture, but maintains a stiff pose. "Not sure." Their faces scrunched up in concentration. "How far back to you remember the resets going?"

That is indeed, a question. Sans lets out a huff. "i couldn't tell ya. far back before you came."

"Flowey?"

"ya, flowey I guess. you know about that." It wasn't really a question. He didn't know if anything would surprise him anymore. It seemed silly almost that the kid wouldn't know, when he thought about it. They had brought the stupid little flower to the surface in the past, protected it. He had learned to live with it. Frisk nodded. "Of course. He's Asriel."

"was." Tsked Sans.

"He's want is left of Asriel," they said in the voice of some settling a disagreement. "He had the power before me, he has determination. And he remembers, I'm sure that if he was in control before, he'd know where it began?" Frisk sounded less sure at the end. "It's a start at least."

Sans gave them a stony look. "your plan is to go interrogate the murder flower." Sans groaned the groan of a man resigning himself to the cruel whims of fate. "might as well go to the root of the problem I suppose..."

The kid jumped a little, as if startled by a sudden noise or movement, then did someone Sans could not anticipate. Frisk began to laugh. Not a shriek or a howl, but a real laugh, a little breathless, and filled with genuine joy. Sans stood there a little stunned as the kid finally met his eyes with a real steady gaze. Their dulled eyes shone with a distant but familiar warmth. Frisk recovered quickly and slipped back into their caution. Sans looked at them with something halfway between bewilderment and suspicion. Frisk coughed. "I just... I missed that. Your jokes."

Sans nodded, but felt little more then startled by the sudden joy. A little uncomfortable too. How where you supposed to feel about someone you spent countless lifetimes hating, countless lifetimes killing. Did all of that even matter here, now? It was all apart of another time now... This was, for all intents and purposes, a new world for them.  
Somewhere someone would tell them they were blessed, blessed to be able to wake up to a new world every other day, every other... who knows. Blessed to have so many chances to live and to become something extraordinary, to make real significant changes. To learn from mistakes and go on to do better. But... that someone didn't know what it was really like. What do you do when you put yourself into everything, and make yourself the best you can be, to see everyone you love happy and free, only to have it all taken from them again, to have it all undone over and over again. Sans had no control... maybe, he thought for a moment, it was different for Frisk. But he, he had felt himself give into to melancholy eons ago. What was the point, if there was so way for him to save his world? His progress, his friends happiness, if it was all gone what was the point in trying at all.

But here the kid was again, trying to get him to hope for something. He remembered a time when he tried.. Tried to find a way out. A way around the reset loop, a way to stop the repeating worlds. But there was no stopping it, it wasn't... It was him. The timelines weren't broken, reality wasn't collapsing, he was. This was the way things always where, paths branching, new universes flowering across infinity. It was just that he was so aware of it all. He remembered his timeline, he remembered the one it came out of before that, and before that, and on and on... how could he fix the problem when the problem was him?

But this, this wasn't about him. It was about the kid, if they could break the kid out of the loop by freeing them from their determination... it wasn't them stopping the timelines from branching, it was something that could make just keep their minds in this one.

"joking aside... what can you tell me about your determination?"

Frisk paused, thoughtful. "Well... It's very strong. And I can't turn it off." Sans snorted a skeleton snort. "so you say." This was ignored. "And... It's like a magnet, I guess. Drawing other... Things, other powers to it somehow." This made Sans curious.

"... huh."

"What is it?" Asked Frisk. Sans said nothing for a small moment.

"well, it makes sense is all." Frisk gave him a puzzled look. "i guess?'"

Their eyes narrowed.

"well." Sans didn't feel like explaining everything. But if the kids determination worked like a magnet, then that could explain why he remembered their jumps and resets and general nonsense. There were endless universes popping into being, flowering from every path altering division any creature made, but it was just these ones he was a doomed to live through, because of the kids bizarre power. What ever was wrong with him must be the window. And it happened because of the determination. Maybe if Frisk could be freed from it, so would he.

That was something worth trying for. "so anyway... What do we need the flower for exactly?"

"Well," something twinkled in the kids eyes. "What do you know exactly about the first child who fell?"

Sans scratched his skull. "you mean the one the King and Queen adopted?"

Frisk nodded. "not a whole lot honestly, not about them personally. just that they were a happy family... i guess." He fronted the only way a skeleton could front. "why?"

The kid gave him an annoying look. The kind of look people give you when you're trying to be mysterious. "Because that play an important role in all... This." Frisk made a sweeping gesture. Sans stared them hard in the face, clearly the kid knew more then they were telling him in this moment and it was irksome. What the hell was the point of keeping information hidden from him, after they seemed so desperate about having help figuring a way out of this mess?

"well if you know so much already why are you askin me anything about it?" Sans grumbled.

Frisk blinked. "I'm just trying to preface our journey I suppose. Chara-" Sans would have raised his eyebrows if he had any. It had been a lot time since someone used that name. "-plays a big part in this, I'm just not sure what that role is." Sans wasn't any happier with that answer. "okay so what else then? this timeline just got you in it, we can't just go busting down doors asking about the Kings dead kids- ha ha..." Goat puns.

Frisk gave a small but genuine smile before returning to seriousness. "I know... Where we can start."

"the flower."

"Or Alphys."

He supposed that made sense. He had known that Alphys was doing research for the king on determination, whatever she had gotten up to... What she found out could benefit him. Them. He didn't like thinking that way, like he was close to the kid. But spite and hate are hard to hold onto when your tired, they require so much intention and more importantly energy, something Sans found he was often in short supply of.

"welp." He placed a bony hand on the kids shoulder, who jumped from the sudden physical contact, but he paid it no mind. This wouldn't take long. A sensation like being sucked into a vacuum and pushed back out rather quickly overtook them both, and Sans staggered just slightly, while Frisk doubled over and threw up. It had been a long time since he took the kid along on any of his 'shortcuts' and it could be pretty disorienting for anyone who wasn't very, very used to it.

"oops." Sans had a feeling Frisk would be glaring at him if they had it in them, but hey, they were there. Right outside the lab. "ta da."

Once Frisk recovered enough to pull themselves upright. "I would have welcomed a little warning."

"sorry," Sans gave them a grin. "we don't always get what we won't in these _worlds_." Frisk didn't respond and let their gaze wonder around Hotland. Their voice fell into a whisper. "It's been a long time."

The splendour of the red stone cavern was a sight to behold, these miraculous sights Frisk used to take for granted. The beauty of it, the friendships they had made in it, their friends here... They had taken them all for granted, treated them like toys... And not the kind you treasure and tuck in bed at night, the kind you leave out on the floor to be trodden on, the kind you get bored with and decide to break and smash in funny ways as the last bit of entertainment for you is drained and beaten from them. Frisk felt a wave of shame and remorse so sudden they almost doubled over again. What had they been doing, what had they done. They hadn't been prepared for this... Sans hadn't been the only one who had turned to apathy. Frisk hadn't expected they would care so much, not again. What hope was their for redemption now?

Frisk was shaken out of their daze by the beeping of buttons as Sans punched in the code for the door. He had seem the doc do it enough times, by now he could probably recite it in his sleep. Wish a hiss the door slid open, the electronic yellow light from the door way created a luminous path. No sooner had Sans and Frisk stepped inside then the door hissed shut again, and the lights went out. The glow from the giant monitor reflected the image of Frisks face back at them, rather ominously.

The lab was silent for one long moment, then a voice echoed through the building, "Who's there?" It was a shaky, but sharp voice, with an electronic crackle that made it sound as though it was coming out of a speaker. It was certainly the voice of Dr. Alphys, it wasn't a voice Frisk was quick to forget. But it lacked all the warmth and kind hearted nervousness they remembered. Instead it sounded hard, and anxious. Frisk tensed up and slowly sank into a more defensive stance. Alphys was always watching. What a stupid mistake.

Frisk glanced quickly to their side, then behind, but saw no sign of the small skeleton that had accompanied them through the door. Damn.

"How did you get here?" The voice from the speaker echoed all throughout the laboratory. Frisk didn't know what to do. They didn't want to engage Alphys in combat, but this was a difficult situation to talk ones way out of... They weren't that confident in their flirting and conversation skills. Running seemed the best option for now.

"I'll just... go if that's alright? This was just an accident..." Frisk spoke with softness in their voice, and just a touch of fear, hoping it would present them as unthreatening.

 

Where was Sans?

 


	5. Under the Misty Mountain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something about Frisks time on the surface after the abandoned genocide run.

They didn't know the majesty of the mountain they called home (or New Home). And those that saw its peak from afar and marvelled would never know the secrets it held within. Had never known. It had filled Frisk with so much guilt, being able to witness the mountains beauty as a surface dweller when so many wonderful caring souls were longing to be free. They ached to have such sights. Frisk had always been drawn to the mountain, even when they knew they had to stay away. The temptation was too great, and in that place... their power too much. Perhaps it had something to do with the monster Magic the caves were filled with, but Frisks DETERMINATION only had a limited power on the surface. They thought that it was maybe because all humans had strong souls, much stronger then that of a monsters - Though maybe not stronger, maybe just different? - that the contrast wasn't so great.

Still Frisk had the resets. Saving happened less and less, until they stopped trying to find save points altogether. Live a lifetime and die within it. They tried to go without saving at first in hopes that it would let them pass on peacefully. But Frisk was too split across timelines, too stretched and too reaching. Their determination wouldn't let them die. They would just go back to the loading screen, faced with either returning or the void. Floating wasn't the right word to describe what existing in the void was like. You drifted without any familiar sense of your self, unsettled, uncomfortable, nauseated. Eyes open wide but seeing nothing.

But the mountain always drew them in. It was where they could save if they wanted, and it was where their life on the surface always led them, one way or another.

After a couple resets Frisk tried scaling its peak once again, not to find a way in, but a way out. To find some hole, somewhere the sealing magic had missed. But they would fall, their tiny child body was too weak and too frail for such ventures. So they would wait years and grow to be old and strong enough to make such journeys. The mountain inside and out, it's great snowy peaks and its tall cedar trees where theirs to know. Loneliness, was a better name for the mountain. That was what Frisk felt every time they were faced up against the solitary peak. Lower down a range of smaller mountains stretched out further then their eyes could tell. They hadn't often made it high, the air up there was thin.

They would spend a lot of time on the mountain, especially as they would grow older in a timeline.  How ridiculous the 'world' felt to them, all the gossip and petty human squabbling.  The noisy world of humans, the material world of humans.  The orderly, boring world.  Frisk turned their determination against it after a while.  Resets earlier, Frisk would become sickened by the close proximity of the mountain, knowing what was beneath her and what they had brought to the inhabitants there.  Guilt would come in waves, and during the in between a cool indifference kept them going.

One day, a day after a thousand days relieved, Frisk sat silent beneath the trees at the foot of Mt.Ebbot.  The dying light of day made the shadows the trees cast long, and cut through the leafy canopies filling the forest with an emerald glow.  Damp moss beneath them, the crisp, sweet smell of new air.  In less then an hours time the sun would be too low to fill the forest with light, and it would become a more sinister place.  The sublime beauty of the moment filled Frisk with something again.  With regret, with guilt, with sorrow. 

They could remember friends who were kind and selfless, dependant and loyal.  Souls who didn't deserve their plight, but still had the strength to bare it with a smile and find it in themselves to hope.  Souls Frisk had watched shatter, and souls Frisk was now leaving trapped in their prison.  They cried for the first time in a long while.  The feeling was too overwhelming and had come on all at once, worse then ever before.  

Frisk spent a long time avoiding what they learned lifetimes ago they must do. Return to the mountain, to the Underground.  Everything looped them back to that place, to that point. They were tied to it, a part of it. They needed to go back... But it was so difficult to face what they had done. The shame, the fear. The judgment.

The Judge...

On the surface no one knew of their crimes. No one knew what they had done, no one knew that they had even enjoyed it.  They couldn't face themselves. No one knew what they had endured because of it. They had to go back... So they could die. Not as they had so many times, but a final death. Immortality is humanity's greatest desire, but it is a prize best kept at a distance. They were sick. They were messed up. They were changed, they were no longer fit for the world. They needed what a was beyond it, even if that was nonexistance. Every night Frisk laid down to sleep they prayed silently that they wouldn't wake up, though to whom or what they did not know or care. Finally, it was enough. The idea of continuing in this way was too much, too maddening. Their prize was death, their final reward would be to leave it all behind and finally, finally sleep. One final journey before that a final release, that glorious freedom. Their determination grew strong enough that they could no longer resist its pull.

What a very human problem it is, to suffer needlessly when it is you yourself that holds the key to relief.


	6. Not Yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans isn't ready yet.

Sans stood outside, his back to the Ladortory door. He _wanted_ to want to help the kid. Not for them, but for _him_. Maybe they were trapped like he was, maybe they just wanted to be free to live out a normal, natural life. But he didn't trust them, how could he? How could he trust anything that acted outside the pattern... Everyone had a pattern. He knew what they would say and do when and in response to what. There stopped being surprises long, long ago. But the kid. They were always a surprise, always acting of their own volition. It wasn't even just the genocide anymore, he was just so uncomfortable. So uneasy.

He'd help the kid for a while, sure. He would. He would entertain them and see how far this would all go, maybe they could find some kind of answer, some kind of resolution. But he had no hope for it. Just... Why not? Not like he had anything else to do that he hadn't done a thousand times already. Maybe he'd lose himself again. Maybe this version of his mind would be ripped from the timeline and pulled into another. There were things Sans remembered doing, things he remembered enjoying. How many timelines had he broken and given into himself, he had no idea. He was only this version of himself, this version of his consciousness. This version of himself hadn't quite broken... Not yet.  He was certain of what he must have become amongst the countless timelines his mind was ripped from. Not ripped... copied. Restarted. He was in this universe, but he was in a thousand more. Remembering them, knowing them, how his mind had survived this long was amazing. Not caring helped. It was all a lot less painful to think about if he just... Didn't care.  He could pretend it was all just a shitty story.  A bad joke.  He didn't care.

Didn't care...

Sans knew that bringing the kid to Alphys before she had a chance to observe them was dangerous. Actually... It was pretty stupid, if his goal had been to keep the kid alive.

Sans knew by now of the nature of the experiments the Royal Scientist was conducting, and the kid was a fresh human soul just dripping with DETERMINATION. The final soul to free everyone... or something Alphys could use to potentially fix the mistakes she had made. He knew this. Sans knew it. It had been in his mind to see if they could get any information out of the Doctor pertaining to the kids quest, but he just... couldn't care. Couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to keep the kid DEAD.

It didn't matter anyway. The kid would die, there would be a reset. He would be back at Snowdin, waiting for them to come through the door. Next time maybe he'd let the kid save so they wouldn't have to keep going back to that moment. Now that there were down here the wait seemed kind of pointless. A true reset would bring everything back to the very beginning, but it looked like the kid was back with DETERMINATION. Why should Sans make it harder for himself.

And the question remained... Was he really about to trust the kid? ... No. Was he really going to aid them in trying to find a way out of the loop? In reclaiming a chance at life... A real life? Well... That could mean for him too. For Papyrus. For all his apathy, Sans loved his brother. Even after he got... Boring. He was still Papyrus. Sans could, at least, permit himself to want to see Papyrus happy, to see him live. The thought of it made him feel peaceful and forlorn... He had no hope for it, but... It would be nice.  At the end of it all, it was always Papyrus that could make or break him wasn't it.

His vision started to blur, and darkness overtook him for just a moment before he found himself back in the snowy forest in front of the door to the ruins. That had been fast... Maybe Undyne had been over at the lab. If they went there some other time he'd remember to check for her.

Then again, maybe the easiest thing to do would be to let the kid go through the underground first. They knew what to do, they knew what to say, they knew how to get through each area. It would be, in a way, the path of least resistance. Then they could both poke around in whatever they needed to in order to find answers, everyone would be used to the kid... Hell everyone would love the kid. He would be there... Every step of the way. If they slipped up, if they so much as twitched towards the FIGHT option, there would be no hesitation.

And he could play the part of the Judge once more.


	7. A beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small moment of understanding and comradety. Not sure if things should start taking a darker turn, but I'm inclined to let them follow down that path.

Did you wake with a sigh, and not a smile?  Did you?  
  
They both lay on their backs facing up at the high, dark ceiling of waterfall. Tiny pinpricks of light could be seen scattered across its blackness. They looked so much like the stars of the sky... But not quite. They weren't sure why there were there, or how they had gotten there. There had been a couple repeats, but Frisk knew the run through the Underground backwards and forwards, and the repeats had been just to see if they could wrest any new pieces of information from Flowey, who also remembered the resets and had an inkling of what they might be after. Not that they were quite sure what that was themselves. It wasn't difficult to work together, but it was... Strained. Frisk knew it wouldn't be easy for them to find anything to mend. Sans could aid them out of his own desire to see an end to it all, but there would never be the trust that could have existed between them lifetimes ago. It made Frisk sad. They had done many terrible things, and never would they blame Sans for what they remembered, what they had brought him to. What they themselves had become...

It was a long time before either of them spoke. They had stopped in waterfall for a rest after evading Undyne, both of their hearts heavy. Sans had explained to Frisk that there were universes that ran parallel to their own, something Frisk had had a sense of but never stopped to really look into. It seemed to them now a foolish error, not to have taken the time to try and learn more about what it could all mean. Then again, they were a child... And they had a perspective on this Sans did not. For them, at beginning, it had just been the realization that their death would never be permanent, that no matter what happened to them, they at least would not end. It had been such a miraculous thing, such a tremendously overwhelming thing to fathom at their young age. The gentle blue light of the echo flower fields never flickered, the flowers whispered unceasingly. They might have been there for hours, listening to the small voices, the distant trickle of running water. Where did these currents come from? Some monsters made it their job to keep the up the flow, so the water never went stagnant. And then there was the water fall that cascaded down from above... From the surface.

That far, unreachable place.

Finally it was Frisk who broke the silence. "There are thousands of them?"

"...ya."

"Thousands of us?" They didn't sound excited, there was no note of surprise, but there was a subdued curiosity.

"probably more." Sans made sure to keep his voice void of anything that would portray an interest in the conversation. He had never spoken to anyone about this before. At least, not anyone who could relate to his experience.

"And each choice we make, each reset..." the trailed off, letting their sentence hang in the air between them.

It was a while before Sans spoke again. "the way it works for us... I think," he clarified, "is that each time you die, we kind of... jump. Into a new timeline, one where what you've done, what progress you've made in the world hasn't happened yet. i don't know if that means we jump into an identical, brand new timeline, or if we jump into one that already existence somehow... Or if it even makes a difference which it is..."

Frisk frowned, but Sans couldn't see it. "Then how... If where we go is to a timeline where everything I've done prior to resetting hasn't actually happened, how is it that you...?"

"i don't know." Says Sans flatly. "there must be something wrong with me, because even though it hasn't happened yet, **I remember**." Frisk cant see his face either, but his eyes stare up, empty and black. "each time you reset, each time you undie, you leave us behind in that world. **Somewhere** ," he clenches his fists and presses himself hard into the earth beneath them. "there's a version of me that doesn't remember anything. who's just happy and lazy and loves his brother. or a me that only saw the first reset and has to live with what happened - with death or peace or whatever - but at least he's not... **This**!"

Another long silence fell between them.

"I didn't know." Says Frisk softly. Sans says nothing. And then...

"i know." Of course they had no idea. How could they? Frisk hadn't dedicated years of your life to the study of such matters. They were after all, only a child when they inherited this power, when they _fell into it_.

"That means though..." Frisk spoke slowly, considering their words. "That there is a Papyrus who is definitely a member of the Royal Guard."

Sans didn't smile, but his eyes flickered dully, almost amused. "That means,". Frisk pressed, "that there is a timeline where you are all free on the surface, living peacefully."

Sans snorted, or at least, exhaled air from his nasal passage rather sarcastically. Such light, pleasant thoughts meant little to them here. "It means too," the kid pushed more still, but in a small voice, "that there is a timeline where we never leave that dungeon."

Sans blinked. It seemed that at least some of the horror of the situation was not lost on them. He almost began to feel... Appreciative. "probably more then one."

"And there are versions of you left in the underground alone. And versions where you're dead, and everything is lost..." For some reason, when Frisk spoke these last words, Sans gave and involuntary shiver, and he recalled a one of his most troubling nightmares: pitch black nothingness, through which he floated silent, motionless, but entirely aware of himself.

"there are some versions of myself that are just... happy for anything to break the monotony. anything that makes them feel." He would have swallowed his voice if he could have. "there are versions of myself that do... terrible things to you kid."

All Frisk can say is, "Me too."

Sans turned his head to look at the child laying feet from him. They turned to meet his gaze and for the first moment since Frisks return to the underground, they shared a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> More coming soon ~ Thank you for reading


End file.
